The Official List Of...
| GREETINGS | VALEDICTIONS |
| Oh No! | Royston! |
| Gah! | Urr-Royston! |
| Mushroom Salad! | Thatway! |
| Turkey Sandwiches! | Where are you! |
| Twenty-Six! | Mywifewent! |
| Fish and Chips twice! | I've been conspicuous by my absence! |
| Are you forty-seven! | Q! |
| Car Park not good enough for you Vera! | Could you keep that door open a bit longer I'm freezing my nuts off here! |
| Do you want any sauce! | Vinegar! |
| Everything all right for you gents! | Poughkeepsie! |
| Has anybody else ordered pork! | It was in last night's Post wasn't it! |
| People of Royston! | At this moment in time it's! |
| Coffee! | Whaddareyou just! |
| Hello-u! | I think it's something to do with mailing lists! |
| Aaahhh, monsieur le gardien du bâtiment! | Just a procedure for Getnit Moor! |
| Two chicken leek and ham pies! | Stand outside while you pay! |
| After you you've got the food! | Hi mate you'll write! |
| I've put the ticket up my sleeve! | Plums as big as your Mum's! |
| Are they from the brewery! | I've got tied up in some ramifications! |
| Steak and kidney pudding! | Glebe, Stackridge and Foss (Chartered Surveyors)! |
| I may be from South Yorkshire, but I know what a roulade is! | The one nearest the stork! |
| Don't open the door unless you're going through it! | Do that with your applicants! |
| I believe the number you're looking for is twenty-three! | Thanks for coming! |
| Yes it's a pineapple! | Seanabit! |
| Ten! | I see you keep a bee! |
| You're the Dogsbody in sesh and I claim my five pounds! | Managed to make a complete fool of myself! |
| The turkey and mushroom sandwich! | Mmmmmmmmm...! |
| Mushroom Salad Ken! | It's on the rim of the candle! |
| Mushroom Salad Mrs Ken! | Now wash that phone! |
| Hello Brian Simon's friend! | Any thin kelce! |
| It's not my major sport no! | Sorry Mick thanks for the! |
| Hay U 2! | |
| Andrew you got my khakis! | |
| Can I squeeze past! | |
| Hello sorry! | |
| Two Pedigrees! | |
| Can you sort me out another Guinness when you've got a second love! | |
| Two halves! | |
| I thought you'd done a runner! | |
| Is that pints! | |
| There's a turnup for the books! | |
| What are we having to drink! | |
| K! | |
| Table 5! | |
| Jacket Mushroom! | |
| Shop! | |
| Bunny Hall! | |
| You'll have to ring the bell, pal! | |
| Do you want to squeeze it! | |
| Can I just get in there to get those two boards! | |
| I'm not putting that in my fridge! | |
| Is it your duck! | |
| Anything else! | |
| What table number! | |
| Eighteen! | |
| Is anybody waiting for food! | |
| Bring some pitzas in next time! | |
| Are you ordering for Helen Bennett! | |
| Sorry mate! | |
| Have yooz ordered food! | |
| Is everything O.K.! | |
| Jacket with cheese and sausage without cheese! | |
| Coke with ice and a slice! | |
| Excuse me you're not driving a red Rover are you! | |
| Do you want ice mate with the orange juice! |