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"If you're always thinking DIY, like me, then you must always be thinking adhesive. Just the sound of the words is like poetry to my ear. Glue. Gum. Cement. Epoxy resin. Paste. Yes, sticking things together is what it's all about. Here is a photo of me in the process of building a shed. Already I've managed to stick my hands to a couple of pieces wood, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. So, I thought to myself. Let's make something of this. Let's all get out the sticky stuff and start attaching ourselves to things. Let's all do....GLOOTY. |
| Here's Wenceslas Smink with a neatly executed Glooty standard. Sticking your hands together is a good way of getting started. You can add to this, as he's done, by giving your sleeves a good coating of adhesive and sticking them to a table. Mr Smink is obviously pleased with the result. |
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Gluing you hands to your legs produces a really excellant effect. Harry Speng, one of Glooty's trailblazers, discovered this nice touch whilst constructing an Airfix racing car. The fun afforded by Glooty is plain to see. His face says it all. What is not instantly apparent is that he's also applied glue to the soles of his shoes and he's firmly fixed to the floor. |
| Over to Ralph Champney with a very stylish hands on head pose. An ample coating of Araldite on the scalp has really got things locked together. He's given an added touch by sticking insulation material to his face. But why the serious expression? Maybe he's wondering why Glooty isn't recognised as an Olympic Sport. Or why it's not on the National Curriculum. Maybe he's pondering the philosophical raison d'être of Glooty; how it's about the nature of things and how things can stick to other things without the intervention of man, and whether the intervention of man sticking things to other things (Glooty) is proof that what seems the naturally random attachment of one thing to another is in fact the action of a higher being - ie. God. Or maybe he's actually coated his face with glue, and it's fixed like this. |
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Get yourself a large orange. Find yourself a willing volunteer. Then get sticking. |
| You're out for a walk and you find a line of rope blocking your way. You could duck under it. You could climb over it. Or you could simply go back the way you came from. But there's another approach. Treat it as an opportunity to play Glooty. Stick your hands to it. |
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Is this Glooty? you ask. Of course it is. These people are glued to the television set. Back in the good old '50s, a lot of fun could be had staring at a screen that reminded you which decade you were in. Children could also be glued to the floor to prevent fidgeting. |
| Glooty in classical times? Well, apparently so. We all know from the many existing statues and busts that most of the ancient Greeks had no arms. Archaeological evidence shows however that Aeropus the Lycenaestian was a keen practitioner of Glooty, and glued a rather fine set limbs to himself. There is speculation that there may even be a statue, yet to be found, of him with a set of glued-on legs. |
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Rita Stinchcombe takes Aeropus' achievement a few stages further with this splendid array of arms. It needed a whole tub Ramptreacle's Gooready Adhesive to attach this lot, but the effect is spectacular. Hands up who's having fun playing Glooty!! Whoooh, Rita. One at a time!!! |
| Glooty with friends is always fun, especially on the beach. Instead of sun tan oil, cover your back with a strong adhesive (don't forget your shoulders!) and get a good chum to mount you. You can even try gluing sand to your palms and knees, as Norman has done here. He now has a nice abrasive surface with which to rub down some flaking woodwork later. |
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A lads' day out with some Glooty thrown in. These chaps left the pub in the charabanc hours ago, but they've still got pints of beer glued to their hands. One of them can be seen in the background. He had to go one better and glue his face to the window of the bus. |
| Lunch-times in the office have never been such fun since Glooty became the in craze. Why spend a valuable hour of free time in the pub discussing the contents of your filing cabinet when you can stick yourself to a desk? Rupert Pewboil here shows a nice smart pose, and at the same time considers the Glooty paradox: "Have I stuck my hands to the desk? Or have I stuck the desk to my hands?" Interesting one, that. |
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Rupert's office mate Gryff starts with a nice hand-on-face Glooty manoeuvre which then allows others to contribute. While Gryff holds the pose, some of his colleagues have stuck pencils onto his face. Paper clips, staples, mouse mats, the contents of the shredder, in fact, anything around the office can be added to complete the effect. Some people even stick their mobile phone onto their ear, and without using any glue. |
| Glooty is even a good way to diet. Office lunch hour again, and Megan Bunker has done a spot of Glooty by sticking her hands to her head. She was about to eat a substantial lunch, but her colleagues have stepped in. They've briskly removed her plate, leaving her with nothing more than a glass of water and a couple of mints. Don't look so worried Megan - keep up the Glooty and you'll soon be down to that size zero. |
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Here we can see why Glooty should be classed as a sport in its own right. This is the two man stationary cycling event. The cyclist in the saddle peddles furiously with the companion rider glued to the bicycle frame. On your marks, get set, stay where you are!!! The umpire carrying the duvet is making sure neither competitor crosses the line. |
| There are some excellant products that you can use for Glooty. The Ramptreacle range of Glooty accessories will meet all your sticking needs. |
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Or you might like to mix your own. Try melting a block of fresh chod in a pan. Then add a few other things. Hey presto, you've got a do-it-yourself adhesive! |
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An interesting development to the two man stationary cycling event. In this instance it's young Jemima (9), peddling furiously as her side-kick the Reverend Wayne Chorley stays put with a hand firmly glued to the saddle. Yes, through Glooty aged clergymen can get their sticky hands on a velocipede without fear of seeing their names put on the sex offenders' register. |
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Buffy Bracknell may have revived the sport more recently, but these pictures clearly show that Glooty was alive and sticking back in Roman times. Porcus Suevius of the Baffiae is seen here mixing a splendid pot of adhesive. What Glooty manoeuvre is he thinking of here? A nail-less crucifixion perhaps.... Well, here's the answer.... |
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He's glued one of Rome's premier warships to the land. The oarsmen are rowing like crazy but they're going nowhere. Nice one Porcus. It's almost as good as two man stationary cycling. Bring on the Carthaginians! |
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It's all happening at the Ventongimps village hall. The vicar is about to demonstrate some nifty stamp licking, whilst his assistant is performing some deft Glooty by sticking his hands to a mounted cylinder. However, the promise of teas has diverted everyone's thoughts elsewhere, and they're all madly looking for the tea urn. Perhaps spinning the cylinder will retrieve their attention. |
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| Squirt a liberal helping of glue on your hands and then grab a bicycle tube. Endless fun. |